Countdown, 11 (356.)

Hey. How have you been? How are you usually? How do you feel right now? I ask because I care about you and your wellbeing. I’d like for you to feel good enough to dance alone in your room at midnight, and cook breakfast at 2 AM, if being a night owl is your thing. I can’t tell a lot over a video chat but I feel every spark that flies from your smoldering brain, and every bit of ash that falls to smother the flames of your engagement. I don’t know if you see it this way, but I notice when you start to zone out. And I say a lot of things out of turn and I’m not great at reaching through the internet, but I want to say that I think I love you. Not in the all-consuming way that burns the bones of new couples, but in a soft way that feels like the sound of steady rainfall outside a window that’s open just a crack. I feel comfortable in your presence, and your every utterance is soothing. Your attitude is like a jacket on a cold day; I feel warm and ready when you’re around. Though we’ve never met in person. I’m not some schoolboy lost in feelings. I’ve been around long enough to know when I speak with a good person, and you’re a good person. And I take sides fast, so I feel something strong and positive for you. What else can I call it but love? And respect. And gratitude. And appreciation. And hope. And bedazzlement. I respect your dreams, and I’m grateful for your progressive wishes. I appreciate your desires, and I hope to step forward like you one day. Your spirit bedazzles me like stars in the wilderness. You’re leading me home. And I want so badly to open the door to find you.


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