Poetry

Chill Days, 15 (320.)

I won’t be chill about this one.
I understand that most of the world is that way,
and in this case, I just want the game to reflect my life,
but come on, developers; come on, modders; just
fucking program left-handed weapons.
Please.
I get into the game. I immerse myself.
This time, I named the character after myself,
for Chris’s sake. (That’s me.)
I’m left-handed. Do I use the mouse left-handed? Well, no.
Do I hold the controller left-handed? Well, I’m not sure …
a controller requires two hands to operate, so that’s a wash.
Would I hold a gun left-handed? Yes. Fuck yes.
Would I swing a sword left-handed? Of course.
Would I drink water with my right hand while
taking out bad guys with my left? Naturally!
All I’m saying is, I’m left-handed, and I’m proud.
I’d just really appreciate
the option for the character to reflect that.
Maybe I’ve gotta
start some kind of petition.
Or maybe I’ll just make
my own damn game, where the character
is a leftie by default,
but just for all of you, the majority of the world,
I’ll include the option
to make the character right-handed.
That’s only fair, I think.
How nice of this hypothetical future me.

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