Chill Days, 3 (308.)

People on dating apps keep telling me
to “do glover,” but I don’t know who
or what this “glover” is,
so how can I even do glover?
Is it a drug?
Is it a dance?
Is it some appropriated “new age” philosophy?
Who stole the glover, and is there a glovest?
Do glovest?

Okay, this shitty joke has gone on long enough.
I know it says “dog lover.”
I know that most of the folks on dating apps
are dog lovers.
I’m cool with dogs too,
but I’m more of a cat lover.
A cat man, as I like to say.
’cause being an anything lover
just ends up sounding sorta weird, right?
I tend to say “I love cats,”
not “I’m a cat lover.”
I love games, does that make me a game lover?
Maybe I’m just sad
because I’ve been nobody’s lover
for a few years now.
So when people start saying “I’m a [ ] lover,”
I just hear “I’m a lover”
and it reminds me
of what I am not, at least not right now.
I love many things.
I love many people.
But I am not their lover.
I do have a lot of love, I think.
I laugh a lot. I’m pleased and amused rather easily.
Perhaps this just makes me a lover, in general.
Does that sound good on a dating app?
“I’m a lover.”
Shit, I might try that out.

I’m a lover.


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