rambling

Into the Breach

Hello, good people of the internet. It’s been a while now, and I type now to tell you that it may be another while before I update you after this update goes through. Wait, what? Yeah, I know my timeline is all wonky here, but bear with me.

I have good news and good news. You read that right: I don’t have any bad news. Well, I suppose the quality and feel of received news depends on one’s perspective. Here’s some good news: I have a job.

Actually, I’ve had a job for about a month now. I won’t sugarcoat anything – the first few weeks I worked at this new job were rough. Instead of putting my student loan payment for October on hold, which is the safe route to take, I let it go as normal and my bank account dipped into the negative. It wasn’t terrible, only a few dollars, but that little negative amount still gives the bank the opportunity to charge me an overdraft fee. So a few negative dollars jumps to almost forty negative dollars, and it could have grown again were it not for my first full paycheck from this new job.

After that initial stumbling, things evened out and now, they look better than ever. To give you all a vague idea of how little money I made at my last job, I’ll let you consider this: I make more money working 30 hours a week at my new job than I made working 40 hours a week at my old job. I am a pawn in the capitalist chess game, but I am now a better paid pawn than I used to be. Alas, if only I could leave that game behind … maybe one day. But that’s a goal for another time.

Now, my other good news: I got a job. “Wait a minute, Chris – you already told us that good news!” Yes, I surely did, but here’s the thing: I got a second job. I suppose it’s actually a third job, or maybe a fourth job, if freelance gigs are taken into account, but let me just say I got a second consistent, hourly sort of job. I haven’t started yet, but I’m really excited for this one.

Do you recall, paragraphs ago, when I said I had no bad news? I may have stretched the truth a bit then. See, the first new job I got, it’s an overnight job. As in, I go into work when the sky is dark, and I usually go home when the sun is up or is in the process of coming up. I worked an overnight job a little more than a year ago, and it was the worst three months of my life thus far. This new overnight job hasn’t hit me quite as hard, but I think it’s because I like the people I work with and I’m mostly left to my own devices.

The second new job? It’s a day thing. 8 to 5 sort of deal, with possible travel and weekend shifts involved. Yeah, this is where things get tricky. See, I’m really stoked on this second job. Without saying too much yet, it’s good work. Meaningful, worthwhile work. I’ll finally feel that I’m contributing something progressive and important to society.

Only problem is, I wanna try my hand at working both jobs. I have never done anything like this before in my life. I suppose balancing school and work and freelance stuff counts, but I didn’t do that for too long. This may be my big moment – I want to see how hard I can push myself before I have to give in.

I’ve been thinking a lot about sleep lately. My sleeping schedule is already thrown way off kilter by the overnight job, and I’ve done some theorizing about how things will work with two jobs: the long and short of it is, I’ll use nearly all my free time for sleep.

“Chris, that’s fucking insane.” Yes. Yes it is. A work-life balance is the ideal, no? The treasure in the clouds for which we strive? It takes dedication to make that treasure real. And I think I can do it. I’ll just have to push myself very hard to use every spare minute of my time in a worthwhile way.

If I do this right, I won’t be wasting any more time. The prospect of working two jobs makes me think of all the time I spend waiting, or idling, or frittering away on my phone … these slow times aren’t bad, necessarily, but I think I need to see what it’s like to lack slow times, so I appreciate them more when this two-job thing is over.

When will it be over, you may be asking? Well, I’m giving myself two months. That’s the holiday season, and I get the feeling the folks at my first new job would appreciate me sticking around for the holiday madness. If I make it to January, and I feel overwhelmed, I leave job one behind.

I am leaving myself the option of leaving job one at any time. If I work two jobs for a week and find myself really hating my new life and all the roughness of napping several times a day just to get sleep, I’ll leave that job. The second one is the one I actually care about. Yet working both could give me enough extra money to have breathing room. Which is a wacky concept for me – to work myself to the bone just to have funds for emergencies or some transitional phase.

We’ll see how it goes. I’ll try to keep you aware of me and my developing situation.

Oh, one more thing: it’s October! Usually I’m playing through a Castlevania game around this time of Spooktober, but I put Castlevania aside (*gasp*) this year to focus on DOOM (the 2016 version). It’s a game that involves slaying all sorts of demons with big, badass guns, and I figure that’s a fairly spooky time. I have one final level to play before the game is over, so it looks like I’ll complete a spooky game before the end of October. You know what I say to that? Huzzah!

Huzzah, indeed. Here’s to the future, and the challenges it will bring. Let’s face them with humor and patience, yeah? Hell yeah.

Standard